firewheel

dating back to the event which happened last 2 weeks, i started to think about why the freakin' hell she had to do it?!? murasaki said it's because she doesn't want me to get hurt. bt to think she did that, and everyone knowing it without me knowing it, isn't that a bit too unfair on my part? worse, i learned it from someoneelse and that she didn't tell me first hand!!!

(hirokawa: she has her reasons... c'mon, you know that)

but then... it's not my fault if i don't speak a word with her anymore. it's no longer my fault if i'm avoiding her already, and it's not my fault that i no lnger give a damn even if something wrong happens to her.

(hirokawa: but macky, aren't you getting things off the road... with what i'm seeing, you're taking things personal...)

i don't know what to feel anymore... even if i'm moving on again, and now that i'm having a crush on somebody now... it's just that i wanted somebody to like me for being who i am... for being the me that everyone knows... for being the child-like me...

i don't want to be loved just to take the pain of loving another person, especially of the same sex!!! all i wanted is that, SHE HAVE SAID IT THE DAY SHE FELT IT!!! AT LEAST, NO ONE GETS DEEPLY HURT ON BOTH PARTIES!!!

... ... ...

the damage has been done... and there's simply nothing that we could do... i just wanted to say what i wanted to say... nothing special to say about what happened today... so, i'll end today's discussion with a little quote that i have in mind right now:

"if you have any problems in life, go and tell them first hand... or else things might get out of your hand... if you decide to wait for the right time, then do so... but not to the extent that everyone will learn it brfore you yourself realize... if you have a problem with someone, face it and say it!!!"

till then, see ya later!

sorry if i wasn't able to write last night due to the fact that i ran out of prepaid internet load (silly me) and it turns out that it might have been a good one... maybe because of my sister is plunging in and out of her room like it was a maze, trying to get the hell out of here...

yesterday was something the usual thing happen... mookie and anj are together, kring comes in and then talks about the progress about the event this december, and nothing special in mind came barging in.

the only funny thing that happened is that i already told freya that i have a crush on her. of course, the only reaction to that is that she was stunned...

then came the morning of this day (or night as it is now) when i went into the place where i am supposed to teach a student for his incoming exams next year. with this i got nothing else to say. but i joined in the LSS practise even if i'm quite late to come into the fray. and guess what, freya was there contemplating on what happened to her bow... ouch... and anj brought with her 2 people. her cousin and her godfather, who actually might be the ones i should be bowing with their guitar prowess. hehehehe... ...

anyways, i got a pair of glasses worn in my eyes now. so before my mother catches me here, i better get out now. see ya all later. ^_^

it's been two days since i last wrote here, and i want to make a compensation with regards to that. in this case, i have to write at least all that i can remember these past two days. i just hope i can do it in time. hehehehe...

(hirokawa: for the first time, i saw him do a compensation. macky, are you sick or something?)

let's start last wednesday. nothing much happened during the day. but it so happened that i ignored someone along the way. for those who understand my current situation, you know who "she" is. i think i did it for the sake that i don't want to be affected by what happened anymore and i want to move on for a change. though it's quite hard (and really it is...)

(hirokawa: after finding that out, who wouldn't be...)

while inside the AB room, we actually wasted a lot of time due to the fact that both our PHIST, and JRN profs. are absent... using it as an advantage, i might as well complete my LTS requirement.

(hirokawa: actually, you look really funny when you go into panic mode... but i think that's not your panic mode, is it?)

finishing that, i went into the LTS room and passed it. good thing is that i finished it just in time.

the next day, we had a very excruciating (is that the right speling) day. surprisingly, i wasn't called during the recitations of Philo and Bio class (phew!), and that made me feel secuerd. but the subject that i wasn't able to avoid was English class (of COURSE i will not miss my second major! is it a major?). look! i made an impromptu speech about a certain topic! guess what. its about "amihan from encantadia" (holy sh*t!!! "stunned").

when classes was done, i finished settling everything with regards to my ID (which i assumed someone snagged it from inside my house by what force i don't know... coult it be... no way...), and my intention of swapping my LTS destination from Tarlac to the Saranggani course. success was the right term.

(hirokawa: 0_0 IT'S A MIRACLE!!! MACKY MADE SOMETHING USEFUL DECISIONS ON HIS OWN!!! WAAAAAHHH!!!)

after all that was said and done, i encountered freya and her friends walking outside the main building. rather than looking like an idiot straying across the outskirts of colayco park, i joined in for a little while, then we part ways because pio and i have to practice for the nihon nights (which i want to promote!!! please watch! thank you!!!). then everything else was gravy.

that's it for the two days that i forgot to tell you. i'm going to tell you what happened today on a separate entry. till then, see ya later! ^_^

... i'm so sleepy... despite the fact that the rain doesn't stop falling for the past hours... i really must go to school... even if i'm missing my ID, for all i know someone kept it inside the house... dang them... ... ...

i don't know what the hell to say... my brain's not working the way it should be, and i need to study for BIO due to the fact that we're going to have a f*ckin' quiz today. talk about sh*ttin' damn profs...

anyways, i wasn't able to write last night here. the only thing i did was pratice driving in the outskirts of my hometown. really, the place was quite fat to go, and it's gonna take you 20 - 30 mins. to get there... at least now i know how to do a "mane obra". now all i need to do now is to learn how to park and drift (just like my idol keitsuke takahashi from initial d).

(hirokawa: ... zzz... zzz... zzz...)

well, thats it for today, might as well do something useful in the upcoming minutes that i,m going to stay here... till then, see you guys later. ^_^

(hirokawa: what the !!! you still have time to do this even if you're rushing!?!)

it's been 4 or 5 days since i started writing here and i guess that i'm getting hooked on this one. anyways, i'm currently rushing a paper to be submitted today. and it seems that i'm going to be late for class... argh!!! these kids didn't inform me a little sooner so that i could have done this last night! man my head aches and my fingers are running wild on the keyboard, desperate to finish this freakin' paper on time. i just hope i can do this as fast as i can!!!

(hirokawa: i suggest that you save this now and do it bro!!! FASTER!!!)

well, gotta rush now. there's no point in writing here today anyways if i'm going to get my butt burned. see ya then later.

yesterday's activity was such a great one. for the first time in my life, i successfully entered ABC channel 5's insides. ^_^ for some weird reason, i kinda felt that the studio crew were snobbish and somewhat annoying, but it turns out i was wrong. the people were actually nice and they were so funny to be with. the show that we were the guest was ARK (or Anime Ring Kaisho), and we actually kicked ass!!!

but before the shoot, we were circling around the whole station, just to found out that the freakin' studio is located in a hidden doorway near the OB Van parking area... dang! i wanna kill that guide who fooled us around.

(hirokawa: now, now, macky, calm down)

the good news is that they had a form of compensation for it, and that was free food. unfortunately, to be honest, i'm not that satisfied with what they have served us, but it was good enough to keep us going for a littlw while longer.

(hirokawa: good thing no one collapsed during the shoot. the lights are all freakin' hot!)

when the time came for us to do our thing, we were given ample amount of time to warm-up, or else we're doomed... the segment manager, Kring (who is actually a student of UST) handled everything in the whole episode shooting. talk about multi-tasking.

at the middle of the shoot, there was this game that they have enslaved a teddy bear hamster to go through the tough maze that they build especially for the show... for what in the who knows reason... ... ...

(hirokawa: geez... those guys go against my nature... why don't they just play rock-scissors-paper... it's easier that way...)

after the shoot, we waited for a couple of hours before we can go home. roughly that was already 5 pm. but anyways, all in all, it was a good experience! hope it happens again. ^_^

now, the side effects are taking into action. my eyes keep on blinking as if they want to slumber, my hands are quite slow in typing, and my mind's not in its usual condition to go get into radical mode... i just hope i can hybernate right after i'm doing my journ assignment...

oh well, i think i cant make another update later this evening so this could be my only entry today...

(hirokawa: faster dude. i wanna sleep too.)

well then, bettef finish my write-up now. see ya later!

AHhhhhhh!!! now's the day that we're going to perform!!! what the hell do i think will happen now? sh*t! my finges are all getting numb by the hour and it seems as if i forgot to bring something with me... if you are thinking what you ARE thinking, its not her...

anyways, i better charge myself up for the day's activity. ah, sh*t! tomorrow will also be the orientation for the LTS!!! damn! so many schedules, so little time... anyways, i better get going now. hirokawa's still asleep and he'll show up a little later, hopefully not while we're taping. see ya guys later!!!

good evening dear readers.

now i am getting nervous for some strange reason... maybe its because that the taping for the show we're suppose to watch and play on will be by tomorrow morning. i wasn't able to print "First Love" yet but the good thing is that i managed to practice the song ... ... ...

"sigh" to be honest, there's this strange feeling that i can't explain. my heart's throbbing like there was no tomorrow and it seems that it wont stop unless i do something... but what am i suppose to do? maybe this throbbing feeling is because of these options:

a. because of what happened last night (yes, it still bothers me for time to time but i can handle this... i hope.)

b. my AVG caught and destroyed a virus that was attempting to enter my PC (not again!!!)

c. whether or not my sister will know that i reformatted the computer because of that stupid trojan virus (this is killing me...)

d. the taping's tomorrow... (breather, please gimme some fresh air!!!)

e. all of the above... (damn... this is got to hurt me...)

but in any case, i just want to share my day, even if there wasn't much to share... all trash... the only thing that i can share is that my friend knows the "thing" that happened when i snooped into one of the LJ's here... but it was a good thing that she did not tell me. at least things didn't get out-of-hand.

and another thing happened... my sister bought a 7 feet christmas tree for god knows what reason. thing is we assembled the freakin' tree but we didn't remove the plastic from it yet (oh great! talking about the "cleanliness is next to godliness" quotation, this is so stupid!)

(hirokawa: ah yes, another christmas tree to dismember when the right time comes. "evil smile" hehehehehehe...)

they're all watching the news while i'm doing this, along with some READY STEADY GO on the background, "sigh" i feel so much relieved. maybe i should do this from this day forward, right?

(hirokawa: "hits macky in the head" you idiot! it's evening!!!)

anyways, time to go now, my sister might get out of the room by now. till then, see ya later!

now that i know that this certain girl doesn't like me, guess it's time for me to move on. the only thing that lingers in my mind now is why does she have to hide it from me? if only she said it a little sooner, things won't go in as it is now. at least if she said it sooner, i would understand... better yet if she said "no" when i asked her about it. i don't mean to be this damn stupid in a good morning but it seems it would be better if i say it now rather than ranting about it a little later. thiking about this too much is not like me at all...

(Hirokawa: "sigh" that's how life is, silly...)

is it bad to love this early?

(Hirokawa: I don't know to you...)

but then again, i'm gonna be a little busy later just to get some props for the taping tomorrow. at least they'll be there beside me... i'm not that freakin' alone after all... ^0^

(Hirokawa: sometimes, i don't know how to get in touch with this idiot at all... first he's down, now he's quite happy... humans... they don't stop to amaze me...)

hehehe... now that i need to go to class, might as well end it up here for a while. i might be late for class! (oh sh*t, Phil. history...) till then, see ya later guys!

geez! im back on the PC, even if my eye's hurting me, i still want to add another entry before the end of the day. i'm very excited awhile ago due to the fact that i'm going to have my very first driver's license! isn't that nice!

(hirokawa: you fool! you were tense when you stumbled in the driver's seat holding the steering wheel in your hands as if there was no tomorrow!!!)

to think i now have a driver's license... even if it's a student license, i don't care!!! at least i have a license and a set balls to drive!!!

in relation to this, while writing this one, i'm currently downloading the latest patches for my AVG (thanks to ate anj! ^_^ ) for my PC's sake of total security. having this baby reformatted 6 times, i don't want "Soma", as i call him, slow down to a bloody pulp... i don't wanna happen to soma what happened to one of my friend's PC...

anyways, that's all i have to say.

(hirokawa: this time, make it sure it's real ok?)

well, then, se ya all later!

"sigh" HI TO ALL OF YOU THERE!!! now that I'm back in doing this blog writing, might as well get serious in this one. knowing that there is more than what others say, i'm here to so the usual thing, and that's to write as if this site is my diary

(hirokawa: actually, it IS a diary you fool!!!)

well, since there's nothing much to say for the meantime, i think i'm going to just say that the user of this account is back on business! hehehehehehe...

that's it for the meantime. till then, ja matta minna!!!

-burst pinwheel macky hirokawa